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First stop, I hit up the local lumber yard. You know, the one on Via Garibaldi? Yeah, that place. I’m lookin’ for some oak for a custom job. I walk in, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. The guy behind the counter, let’s call him “Grumpy Gus,” is havin’ a meltdown. He’s yellin’ about some shipment that went missing. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just wood.” But nah, he’s throwin’ boards around like they’re frisbees. I’m dodgin’ splinters like I’m in the Matrix.

VATICAN - Recognition of the heroic virtues of three Italian missionaries who died of Ebola in Congo